Occasionally, falling flat on one’s face can be put to constructive use.
So last week, I made a decision to sideline my writing, in order to focus on music. While I did manage to record the second of three tracks bound for my first EP, and made headway on the third, I came away from the experience rather drained, and disappointed in myself.
In my, exuberance, and over-confidence, I went into recording without the proper preparation. Assuming that approximate memorization would be a substitute for correct planning, and most importantly, physical practice, was foolhardy. Being familiar with a piece of work for 7 years doesn’t necessarily mean that it is ingrained into your being. That you, to borrow a common phrase, “know it like the back of your hand.”
So what was the result? Until the one track that I managed to finish was done rendering, I had nothing but disappointment and dissatisfaction to show for it. But I did learn a few lessons about the value of preparation, and I did take away some solace from the fact that these sorts of roadblocks and setbacks used to hit me a lot harder. I used to get really angry with myself, and it bled over into relations with my friends. Now, this time I had the self-consciousness, and the ability to see things from a broader perspective, to let some of it slide off my back. If suffering a few days’ worth of disappointment, is enough to teach me lessons that I can carry into any and all future musical endeavors, then I consider it worthwhile.
And as I have come to learn, in a bit of advice passed on by actor Jim Carrey, if is possible to fail at something that you don’t enjoy, then why not take a chance at what you actually do enjoy? I’d rather try and fail at music, and at least enjoy the ride along the way, than try and fail at something I have no interest in. That being said, I have no interest in failing. Though behind schedule, Stoic should be finished with recording by the end of July. I am still excited by the possibilities and what is yet to come.