Self-conscious blogger is self-conscious

A blogger’s musing on worrying about one’s own writing.

Firstly, if anyone is thrown off or scratching their head because of the redundant title, this article explains it quite astutely. In a nutshell, it is an internet culture meme inspired by The Simpsons.

The crux of my thoughts and feelings today, weighs on my higher-than-usual sense of self-consciousness and self-doubt, about where I stand in life in general, as well as my writing. Especially in matters of love, romance, and sexuality, where I have bared my proverbial neck to the world at large. It seemed to be especially acute upon waking up this morning, after having slept on the previous day’s blogs. After having written something that I felt really proud of in my first article on gender equality, I couldn’t help but feel a little unnerved by my follow-up to it yesterday. It’s almost as though I gave myself a field assignment, and came back with an unsatisfactory report.

Perhaps I am just overthinking it. I have been accused of thinking too hard about certain things. What that stems from, is a life-long concern about being misconstrued or misunderstood, something which I have touched on before in my existence as an introvert. And I still carry a baggage claim of self-doubt inflicted upon me in my failed relationship, where I feel an overwhelming need to counteract the stereotype that all men care about when it comes to women, is sex. In chronicling my journey through life in a daily blog, there are instances where I try to describe what it is like to be so conflicted, and to have so many counterbalancing thoughts to deal with, but I am not sure if I do the problem any justice with my writing. If there is a single point that I am trying to make, it is that, I have a long history with fighting against misunderstanding, and because of that, there are times, like today, where maybe I overthink about things which I have already shared with the world at large.

In an attempt to pin a pretty little bow on this post, I will say that my day to day journey continues to challenge me, and I find myself at a point in life where there are still more questions than answers. Those of you who have read, and continue to read my musings, I truly and humbly thank you. I don’t where this voyage of discovery in the blogosphere of life will take me, but I am glad to have good people along for the ride.

FIN

3 thoughts on “Self-conscious blogger is self-conscious

  1. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re thinking too much. That’s what a blog is for. Let out those thoughts. Half the reason I started my blog is because people kept telling me I thought too much. I figured, if the people in my real life don’t want to hear these things, maybe I can find an internet community that does.

    1. Thank you for the encouragement. I think part of me might be a little scared of getting so personal in a public forum. I have been blogging for awhile now, but until recently is has been in the form of geek articles, movie reviews, things that are significantly less personal, and less… exposing.

      These past few weeks, challenging myself to write everyday, and to be so open about myself. It is as frightening as it is liberating.

      1. It is scary. I’ve been told I’m going to hell on my blog. At the end of the day, you can be as anonymous as you want and say what you want. It can be scary to put yourself out there, but I bet you’ll feel better once you do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s