Posting about particularly memorable or vivid dreams is not something I had considered before, but after experiencing an especially affecting one last night, I was inspired to write about it.
What will probably not come as a surprise to those who have read my previous blogs, my ex was involved in this dream, but she wasn’t the entire crux of it.
This dreamscape was a wide open flatland, not unlike the great plains of the American Midwest. Black clouds loomed on the horizon, just over the expanse of power lines which hugged the one lonely road. I seemed to be driving, but this “car” acted more like a fast-moving camera that I was nearly constantly behind. My vehicle took a detour into a house on the edge of the run-down city nearby. I observed inside, some sort of party. There were faces I recognized, people who I used to call my friends, but showed their true colors when I was down and desperately needed help.
The faces were laughing and smiling, yet there was a certain despair that I felt in watching them. Not despair for not being part of their revelry, but out of pity. I was watching them as they let their lives descend into squalor, repeating the same mistakes over and over. I sensed it was time for me to leave them behind, so I backed my “car” off of the staircase from which I was observing these people, and began driving again down the lone road.
The decrepit city again gave way to open, barren plains. The storm was growing closer. I could see lightning crashing within its shape.
There came a single crossroad in my journey, at which was a movie theater, and nothing else. I went inside, and saw my old love waiting in the middle-most row. There were other people here, but their forms were blurred and indistinct. No words were exchanged, but I simply sat down by her and clasped my hand within hers. I kissed her gently on the head as she laid it on my shoulder, and then we simply watched the film that was playing on screen. We were watching the rest of my life unfold.
I woke up from that moment with a strange sense of peace and calm. Months before, such a dream might have disturbed me, or made me weak with sadness. But now I have the wisdom to realize that my own mind, at the sub-conscious level, is making peace with the event which leveled my life. Perhaps all I needed was to say goodbye one more time; not in the terrible way it actually happened, but in a peaceful manner that recalled the all-too-fleeting moments, when all was right with the world.